Monday, May 2, 2011


I've been sick the past few days.  Usually when I get sick I lay in bed and let my mind wander, avoiding that pot of tea I need to brew or cough medicine I need to take.  I just lay in bed and think.  This time around I started thinking about how I often find myself waiting.  I'm always waiting.  Waiting for photography to take me to all the places I want to go.  Waiting for my student loans to be paid off.  Waiting for the weather to get sunnier, warmer, better.  Waiting for this cold to go away.  Waiting for Abe to come over.  Waiting for the day I don't cringe when I check my bank account.  Waiting for the next time I'll see my friends who live far away.  Waiting for my life to begin.

With all this waiting, I stress myself out.  My heart gets heavy and all I can feel is saddness.  I begin to compare myself to friends who have done more than me, have traveled more, seen more.  I compare myself to other photographers and their successful journeys and then question my own.  Will I accomplish everything I dream about?  Am I doing enough?  Am I good enough?  Am I...enough?

I remember it wasn't long ago that I lived by the minute.  I didn't know what I was going to do an hour from now, let alone know what I was going to do with my life.  However, I remember feeling so happy and content with that and in turn, never really doubted myself the way I do now.  I lived in the moment.  I kept my head where my body was.  I need to go back to that place.  I need to go back to allowing myself to enjoy my days that aren't filled with photo shoots, editing photos, networking - productivity.

Maybe the question is not what more can I do, but what can I not do?  Finding fulfillment in not filling up my day with a "things to do" list.  So, I'm going to stay here in bed with my tissue box and comfy sheets and just.....wait.


  1. Primita, I love u so much, nos parecemos tanto... tenemos los mismos pensamientos, de hecho cuando nos vemos tenemos esa misma conversación trasendental sobre nuestras vidas, al menos ahora puedo decirte, "creo que lo estamos haciendo bien!!" vamos por buen camino y poco a poco se valora nuestro esfuerzo, cada cosa llegará en su momento, por ahora sabes que me siento muy orgullosa de ti y me encanta el arte que tienes, eres la mejor!!

    Andrea U.

  2. interesting post, Liz. when you're not sick anymore, you should take a pause on waiting and go out and make something happen!

  3. Love the honesty in this post, Liz. I think that shot really speaks to a lot of us right now ;-)